Day 1 (April 22, 2020)

Drawing today was quiet and slow and not as hard as I thought it would be. I mostly heard birds chirping and the garbage truck rumbling and wind howling through our windows. I am in an almost absurdly colorful sweat-outfit because for some reason these days I want to be drenched in bright color. My tendency towards all black outfits (like a classic New Yorker) evaporated once I was stuck inside and watching myself on Zoom all day.

As soon as I lay down to draw, I immediately noticed that all the individuals I drew so far were straight-size (not fat) and seemingly able (had all limbs, fit the "normal" idea of a body). My learning about ableism and fat-phobia since I started this project draws my attention in new ways. I am trying to draw each person with even more specificity and challenging myself to not just draw my body over and over.

When I started drawing, I drew every person a little more spaced out. I think the 6 foot mantra has sunk in in a way that's really hard to shake. I worry about putting them close to each other. I tell myself that the ones that are closest are family units, viral pods, social bubbles. I tell myself they've made the choice to be close and to share air. But I saw a text from Eiko as I took a break and changed the camera position. She said there was something powerful about them being "packed in." And then I thought about images of the subways packed with people from the Bronx or Brooklyn who need to go to their essential jobs. I thought about apartments full of multiple families. And even the sidewalks of my neighborhood that are only 3 feet wide. So I started placing them closer again, trying to recognize the reality and limitations of "distancing" in this city.